Sam & Max: Freelance Titans
by Jad the dog
Summary: Sam & Max Teen Titans crossover. Based on the Teen Titans animated version. T for mild language and violance later. Please read and review. Any type of reveiw is welcome.
1. Chapter 1

(Author's note: I know this isn't an update to "Ninjas, Worms and Slugbutts! Oh My!" but this idea has been in my head for over a year. I'm just going to get it out of my head and if it gets some good responses then I'll continue it and I have two things to say. I don't own any of the characters. This story is based on characters created by Steve Purcell, Bob Haney and Nick Cardy.)

Chapter 1

This Is Not An Update To My Other Stories! So Get Over It!

A space ship was hovering by Earth millions of miles away. The ship was filled with strange fish like creatures that were chasing an orange skinned girl who had green glowing eyes. She noticed a garbage chute that was locked. Using the arm-locks (A/N: Sorry, I don't know what they're called, but I think they're pretty cool.) to smash the lock on the chute open, she jumped in and was shot straight toward our home world.

The guards rushed into the main computer room where their scientists were typing on the big computer.

"Is the tracker still working on her arm-locks?" one of the guards asked.

The scientist nodded his head. "The signal is weak, but I think we know where she is heading." He pulled up a picture of earth on the computer screen and continued. "She is going toward Earth. She is going to land in a city that the inhabitants call… New York."

* * *

Meanwhile in an apartment room located a few miles from Time Square, a dog and rabbit were simply bored out of their minds. The dog was about six feet tall, sitting behind his desk that had several scratches on it due to the time when his little bunny friend was practicing his knife slashing. He was wearing the modern detective clothing most detectives wear. The bunny was a mere three feet tall and wasn't wearing anything at all. He sat on the floor throwing several darts at the dart board in order to suppress his boredom. When he ran out of darts, he started throwing knifes, an ax and even a grenade that blew up the board and left a hole in the wall. Suddenly the phone rang. 

"I GOT IT!" the creatures yelled over and over again in loud voices that could be heard from their office to Central Park as they rushed to the phone. As soon as the rabbit was inches away from the phone, the dog pressed a button on a Genesis controller. A trap door opened below the rabbit and he fell in. The dog then casually walked up toward the phone and picked it up.

"Hello?" the dog said through the phone. "Yeah? Huh uh? Yeah? Really? No joke? We're on our way!"

The rabbit then climbed out of the trap door as he held a luger pistol gun and used it to pistol-whip a bunch of people in black ninja wear.

"After trapping 95 of those creepy auger guys, the least you could do was clear out the prisoner storage Sam," The rabbit complained.

"No time for whining Max," Sam replied. "The commissioner called and used his muffled ranting voice to describe our assignment. He says that a strange flying girl is about to land right here in our city."

"That's it?" Max said without any excitement in his voice what so ever. "I swear the writing staff for our assignments just keeps getting more repetitive."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Sam asked. "Never mind. The local astronomers predicted that the girl will arrive in 10 minutes. We might as well finish this thing quick so we can get this story over with."

* * *

The duo jumped into their old, beaten up Desoto. Sam was starting it up as Max deeply inhaled the car seats' stench. 

"You gotta love that freshly butchered cow leather smell," Max said after he exhaled.

The car's engine roared and it quickly took off, rushing straight toward Time Square.

"If action movies taught me anything," Sam said "It's that most villain encounters take place in Time Square."

"Well that's original," Max replied "I know this is a fan fic, but can't the writer at least make the encounter setting a bit more unpredictable like say, uh, a whales stomach?

"Already been done," Sam said.

"An old abandoned warehouse on a ship port?" Max asked.

"That was Spiderman 2" Sam answered.

"A giant rock surrounded by fire?" Max said from the tip of his tongue.

"The Lion King," Sam answered.

* * *

Meanwhile, a block or two away, a thief came running out of the jewelry store with his fists full of diamonds. He quickly moved into the shadows of a nearby ally. As soon as he was sure he was unseen by the naked eye, he began to stuff his pockets full of the stolen diamonds. He was about to leave when he started to hear beeping. He looked at his pockets and noticed they were flashing red. Suddenly, they made a very light explosion and smoke entirely engulfed him. He then heard foot steps approaching him from the left. The next thing he knew, the smoke was cleared and he was tied up. He turned to his left to see who it was that captured him. It was none other than Robin. 

"I knew a jewelry shop in a district like this would attract the diamond thief," Robin said with his plain voice while his face kept it's serious look. "Oh, and those weren't diamonds. They were my prototype jewel shape smoke bombs."

"Wait a minute," The thief said "Shouldn't you be in Gotham with…"

"Just moved here," Robin interrupted "And from now on, I work alone."

A light was then shining in the ally and was getting brighter. Robin turned his head to see a Desoto with Sam and Max talking to each other while paying no attention to the road.

"On top of a platform while big lasers are coming out of the ground?" Max asked.

"Rayman 3: Hoodlum Havoc," Sam answered in a bored and unenthusiastic voice.

"A race in a church/deli?"

"Earthworm Jim 2,"

"Shouldn't you be driving?" Max asked.

"Tallade-" Sam was about to reply but stopped when he realized what Max said.

He turned his head and saw that he was going to crash into Robin and the thief. He quickly stepped on the brakes and turned to the left. The car managed to stop just an inch away from the sidewalk. Just then a bright green light flew above their heads.

"Looks like the alien is about to crash into Time Square," Sam said.

"Can I drive this time?" Max asked.

"Since the alien we will encounter might try to kill us and use our bones to make chandeliers, why not?" Sam replied as they switch seats.

"Wait," Robin said in almost a commanding voice "Are you two police officers?"

"Freelance… police officers," Max answered.

"Then take this guy to jail," Robin said using a commanding voice again "I caught him trying to rob a jewelry store."

"As much as we like to arrest criminals, throw them in Sing Sing and make them form a human pyramid while they are butt naked, we have to go," Sam said.

"The sooner we get to time square the sooner this chapter will end," Max added as they drive away.

Robin knew that they wouldn't be coming back anytime soon, so he tied the thief to a near by lamp post so other cops may arrest him and ran to Time Square to see if all this talk about an alien invader was true.

(Sorry that it's short, but I wanted to post this thing before February. In case you didn't notice by now, I love crossovers. Hope I can post a new chapter for this or my other working fan fic by some time next month. See ya then.)


	2. Chapter 2

(A/N: Due to my busy school work, I have a Wii and Viva Piñata for the 360, I will try to work on the fan fics during the weekends and when I have school off. I will also try to update these things monthly. Sorry that I can't do it sooner.)

Disclaimer. I do not own Sam, Max or the Teen Titans. The fan fic you are about to read is based on characters created and owned by Dc and Steve Purcell.

Chapter 2

The Part that comes after the first one

The Freelance duo finally arrived at Time Square as the alien girl crashed into the street and arised from the crater she made from the impact. She stared at the frightened residents and started speaking in her native tongue.

"What kind of alien do you think it is?" Max asked.

"It appears to be some short of short tempered orange skin female alien with tiny eyebrows who has come to vandalize our city," Sam said "Its either that or we're being attacked by some kind of angry teenage girl who has eaten one too many."

"Should we senselessly beat her up, chop off her scalp and use it as a hat?" Max asked as he was getting hungry for carnage and malevolence.

"Can't think of a reason not to," Sam answered.

The alien was smashing the arm locks against a building and order to get them off. She then heard the words "Booga! Booga!" She turned around to see that Max was about to pounce on her and sink his teeth in her just like a wolf. She smashed the arm locks on to Max's skull thus making him flat as a pancake. He then wobbled over to Sam, who said,

"It's a good thing you have that metal plate in your skull, little buddy,"

"Come closer so I can knaw your toes off," Max said in an annoyed voice.

The alien noticed that the arm locks were a bit dented. She then thought that smashing them onto the twisted rabbit's head several more time might free her arms. She started to charge right to Max when a boomerang-ish weapon hit her in the head yet she wasn't hurt or affected. She turned around to see Robin standing on the sidewalk.

"Who are you?" Robin said in a demanding voice.

Starfire did not answer as she kicked Sam and Max's car straight toward him. Robin dodged by using a grappling hook on the top end of the electric Coca cola sign. He zipped right to it just in time before the car hit him. He grabbed on to the sign and pulled himself up onto it. Sam pulled Max by his head and feet, thus returning him to his normal shape.

"I don't think we're dealing with any old alien, Max," Sam said.

"She must be a female Chuck Norris from an alternate dimension," Max said as he rubbed the top of his head.

"I bet she's so strong, she can make fire burn," Sam commented.

(A/N: That line came from my math group when they were making Chuck Norris jokes. I've been having a serious case of writer's block when making this and now I have some kind of stomach virus. I'm not in a writing mode so I'll just post this up and work on my Earthworm Jim and Naruto crossover some more when I'm in a writing mode and if the co-writer isn't so busy.)


End file.
